Those idiots! Those big idiots! They kept me out till late and for what? Another little fight with Spike over the territory rights, though for those guys a thug life is all they have. I guess in a way I feel sorry for them. I remember being there too, it’s all I had to pass the time, and it’s all I knew since I was angry all the time. I wanted to be better though; I wanted to do better for Eli. So that when I met Eli again I could be the Wyatt she knew! Have I even achieved that?
Walking back slowly was a bit annoying. Especially when some of my clothes are already ripped and stained; fighting I don’t condemn it but, I don’t like it either. Anyway, I need to change quickly I don’t want Elliot to have the chance to see me like this.
Seeing him again, sure was something. I wonder when I’ll get my chance to run into him again and more importantly- wait, someone’s by the door. Getting closer I saw that it was Elliot… what is he… why would he? Could it be he came to check on me after the little incident yesterday? To make sure I made it home okay? No, it can’t be. He doesn’t know I live here does he? Either way what is he doing out here sleeping outside? Did Yuki not let him in or something!? I swear if that was it! When Elliot came all the way here!
As I turned to look through the window, so that I could see where that guy was (plus Elliot was in front of the door I didn’t want to disturb him), I saw Mieu! And right on her lap was Yuki’s head, resting there and him asleep maybe? Wha?? Why? How? What?!
I heard a bit of a noise and Elliot slowly moving. He’s awake!! What do I do? What do I do? Uh, uh… um… think come on brain.
Dumb brain all it managed to do was move my hand and point to the window, with who knows what type of face I was making! I’m just so surprised that I didn’t notice how many things happened at once! It was as if I saw Elliot getting up and looking me up and down, then telling me that they were only sleeping, in slow motion. But all I thought about was: I didn’t get a chance to change.
“Oh,” no don’t just say that! Say something else. Come on anything, something to excuse yourself! Come on Wyatt move! Say something please… anything. I waited so long for this chance, I finally built up my courage to do it, and now… will I back down?
“I’m sorry.” I choked out. “I’m so sorry, I’m to blame.”
That’s when I fell to my knees with a loud thump but I didn’t feel anything. I couldn’t even see anything through my tears falling down my face, all I could sense was that lump you get at the back of your throat when you are completely bawling like a baby.
“I’m so sorry. I couldn’t bring Yuki back to you! It wasn’t cause I forgot, or that I gave up but because I was scared!! I changed so much trying to get that bastard back, but only managed to mess up!” I started saying, half making sense half not, I couldn’t even look up. “I wanted; I wanted to bring him back to you. I wanted to come back to you, the old Wyatt that you knew…”
I wanted so much for you, and all I did was all the wrong things. “I messed up, because I’m useless! I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Please don’t hate me…” I can’t take it if you hated me, I covered my face, in order to hide. I didn’t want him to see me like this, not like this. Why like this?!
"I only came here for Mieu."
Time stopped, I don’t know how long it was. I didn’t know what was going on, until I felt someone chocking me by the collar. That’s when Yuki’s face came into view.
“What the Hell do you think you’re doing?” I heard him, he sounds very mad.
“I grew balls to apologize, that’s what. And I lost. But I’m still better than you.”
I felt a swift blow on the side of my head followed by an intense pain, without even seeing the punch. This is what I didn’t want you to see, this ugly me. The me that would pick a fight, in order to lose, to go numb, and to completely change myself.
“Is that all you got?!” I said through my tears, through that lump in my throat as I angered him more. And I knew exactly what buttons to push so that he would lose it. “I finally did what you feared most, because you knew didn’t you? All along that Elliot was him, and you didn’t tell me. So that I would NEVER find him right? RIGHT!!?”
“SHUT UP!!!” I felt the continued blows to the side of my face. I counted two of them, till I heard a small voice and saw Yuki pause above me. When had he gotten on top of me? How did I get on the ground so fast?
“Hi Mieu! Look at this guy, isn’t it so much fun Yuki? How we left our precious friend behind like that? How terrible are we?” I’m bad, so that makes us both bad.
“Please stop!!” Mieu came over to us I think. But all I could look at was Yuki’s face, he was mad. But by then with that last sentence I think I got him. I came back to myself once I felt a drop of water on my face. It was warm…
“Yuki?” Mieu and I said together. We saw him cry… this guy… who I haven’t seen cry for the longest time, actually cried.
“Why couldn’t you leave Elliot alone?” I heard him say through his tears. I couldn’t really see his face since he had put his arm over his eyes.
“We were in the wrong Yuki. We couldn’t go on leaving him behind like that. When we care so much for him, you saw it didn’t you. Even though time changed that small face, we can still tell how tortured he is. He remembers… I’m sure he does.” I said, mostly pleading for Yuki to agree with me, so that I hadn’t screwed up yet again.
“You don’t know that!! You don’t know that!!” Fuck that! With a careful fast move I manage to unbalance him and knock him off me. Just so that I can look at his face better at least that was the plan till I noticed he held on to me and we rolled, away from Mieu thankfully.
“You don’t know he doesn’t!! Always caught up on managing yourself, you don’t notice other things!” I said managing to get on top, and pin him down. He’ll have to listen, I’ll make him listen by force if I have to!
“Stop fighting! Friends shouldn’t fight!” Mieu said as she started to move to us again. “Please stop fighting! Both of you are hurt, you need to get inside and clean those wounds properly.”
I wasn’t going to stop, till we heard someone clap and with a nice southern drawl, told us to break it up right now.
“Now boys, listen to Mieu. Fighting is a no, no for friends. Let’s get you two inside and let’s get all this settled.” I remember this lady; it was Mrs. Mayhein, the neighbor. I think she caught us as she was coming back from her daily walk.
Seeing Mrs. Mayhein and remembering that she too knew us since we were little scared me, she would know… but who would she side with if she only knew?
Yuki and I both entered the house slowly. Neither one of us was willing to speak to the other.
“Mieu sweetie can you get the first aid kit for me?” Mrs. Mayhein said as she first checked on Yuki who only had a scrape. “Wyatt you and your wounds, what am I going to do with you.”
“I don’t know, sorry for the trouble Ma’am.” I said sort of trying to copy that southern accent, I couldn’t.
“Well now, thanks darling,” she said to Mieu. “I know you have always been the rough and tough one, but sometimes sweetie you gotta walk away you hear?”
“And you Yuki, you shouldn’t be so quick to attack your friends.” Mrs. Mayhein continued to talk about friendship, then asked Mieu some question on how she was doing, and such and such. This lady could really talk.
I didn’t want to wait anymore so the minute she was done, I stood up to leave. The thought instantly hit me that I was being rude, but by this point I had to get away. I just had to, so I could stop myself from jumping Yuki.
“Where are you going Honey?”
“I need to go get my bike, ran into some trouble yesterday and left it with a friend of mine to fix it up for me.”
“Oh alright sweetie, make sure you’re careful.”
With that, I was out the door. As to where I was heading, I was only barely aware. I know that I’m not the greatest person when it comes to directions, so when I arrive at a place without getting lost once. Well it’s short of a miracle.
“Look who we have back, ain’t you going back home?” Them again, speaking.
“Nah, not right now.”
“Yo, this ain’t mean, you up to another fight huh Red?” Movement, each of them poised, coiled, and ready.
“Nah, just need to relax…”
“Got a place?”
These guys started moving around me. Getting things together, getting themselves ready, basically they were saying welcome back Red. I don’t mind them sometimes, as long as I’m careful but for right now they are the only ones who can take a good punch if I lose it.
I thought I had a second chance to do better this time, but I didn’t do better. It’s like I did worse, but now it’s too late to go back in time, that time that seemed to have stopped. There’s no second chance for me, there might have never been one. Now all I can do is live with it, in whatever way I can.